BEAUTIFUL LIFE

Thursday, August 30, 2007

FootprintZ

I always thought of coming here. Ever since I really started into this, it seems like an addiction. (Just like what some author wrote ^^) It is through here that I can release the fear bit by bit, opening a little and sharing “siu siu ye” with everyone.

Always so much to say. I feel like writing my whole life journey here once and for all, but then I think all of you would fall asleep. ;p Thinking of this, I am suddenly curious how was I as a young kid. All seem vague now. Was I adorable? Did I grow up in fear? Everything a no-no? Hmm…I remember maybe I was a mischievous girl, like a boy who can’t sit still. Like a leader of the gang. Hmm…like to dress up and play. Many scolding too. I would do extra special things for the people I love and seek their attention. If I like a particular teacher, I always can’t wait for the lessons and do very well for that subject. Maybe I was an inquisitive girl too, because some people got irritated with my many “Whys”…

Recently this thought comes to my mind: To hold on or give up? Is it clear?
It’s a long road, when you face the world alone…dreams are hard to follow, but don’t let anyone tear them away. Hold on there will be tomorrow, in time you’ll find the way…

I like this verse. It seems to give me an answer already. But how long can one goes on, when lost everything? Walked this far with many gatherings, rejections, destroyers (these people can really make a hell out of you!), frustrations, dashed hopes, heartache, sacrifices… on and on. For once, I wish I am a robot. A robot created just to serve its main purpose. Has any doctor or scientist come out with this concept where the body can function without the heart? Which means the mind can function without the heart? Like you can work while you’re sleeping?

Anyway August 2007 is coming to an end, which means something. But I hope to end it beautifully. Yes, I believe it will. Let me tell you the answer after tomorrow :)

Labels: Film

posted by starry_twilight @ 1:15 PM  
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take my HAND; and GUIDE me through *hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

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BEAUTIFUL LIFE

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Lonely Journey

It’s amazing how one’s mood and emotion can change so fast, according to circumstances. It was actually a sick morning. But after seeing some things it becomes a bit sunny. Then maybe if even more wonderful surprises come, it will be high spirited again. Both Love and Hate can be so strong. And you can’t choose them. You can only learn either to enjoy or let it go. So face it!

Perhaps no one knows how frighten I feel now. Now, fatigue is back. Physically tougher but other than that it is torture. “How much time do I left? How can I go on living? What should I do? How can I be stronger?” These similar questions keep appearing. I know I should be fearless. BUT…

Time goes back…

The story has somehow come to a standstill. Unfortunately I cannot be the author. It leaves with God. I have another role.

Little Swallow looked numb and daze. It was time to move on. She dragged her feet and sat down at the corner of the morning street, listening to music. People were walking in all directions, all seeming in a rush. She hoped she could sit there forever…
Next day
It was a heart-shattering day for her. But it was also a day of relief. She managed to sleep through the long silent night.
Next day
A brand new day! She jumped out of bed. Things would be more and more exciting and she made sure she would enjoy the journey. “Finally!” she exclaimed. Power, power and more power!
2 days passed
She was already ready. It was cool and fun to be in a place where “alone” seemed to be a taboo. No matter how weird people looked but “I don’t care!!!” was all she wanted to scream. Practice and practice was what she could do. The time to be the fearless conqueror!
XXX Days…
Little Swallow held the beautiful white bird carefully with both her hands. She kissed his soft feathers. She wished she could keep him by her side forever but she could not. She gave one last look at the bird and held him high up towards the clear blue sky. Slowly she let go one hand, then with a deep breath she let go the other hand. He flew up high flapping its wings as if saying a “goodbye” to her. Then he flew away and finally he disappeared.
“Goodbye, Forever Love…” she whispered.

Back

No matter what happens, just keep moving. Going up the roller coaster may be tough, but enjoy it. Let’s all be strong! Breathe in…Breathe out…Breathe in again…Breathe out… (This is what I’m going to teach, haha ;P)

Labels: Books

posted by starry_twilight @ 12:00 PM  
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take my HAND; and GUIDE me through *hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

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BEAUTIFUL LIFE

Sunday, August 12, 2007

No Name

This is shit. Everything sucks. I really hate coming here to do this but I need a break! I want an end. I can’t take it anymore. Those sleepless nights, days without food… I will really die if this continues. Some much shit and I never thought things would turn out this way…

Tears rolling from the heart, pain that is torturing me. I don’t understand why a mind can be so complex. Is there logic in love? How can feelings be so fickle at times? It’s like “Gotcha! You’ve got tricked hahaha” (evil grin) kind of situation. If we can’t rely on any of these, is there even truth in anything?

I hate myself for being in this. I can’t believe I can be so “strong” as to go on like this. Torment at your weakest point. I really don’t understand and I don’t want to think anymore. This is crazy. But I don’t want things to be like this…

Labels: Current Affair

posted by starry_twilight @ 9:00 PM  
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take my HAND; and GUIDE me through *hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

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BEAUTIFUL LIFE

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Inspiration

A Special Someone taught me one very important thing (in fact many, but this is something which I am going to do and change and it is NOW).

“It’s better to give than to receive”. I’m sure everyone has heard this before from somewhere. But right now, I don’t care if it is better or not or if I am just doing for the sake of it. I decided to just GIVE. Because I choose to. Because I want to. No matter what happens in future.

Everyday I’ll ask myself, “What can I do to brighten up someone’s day? What else can I do to show love, care and concern? How should I do all I can to make someone else happy?”

In this way, I will be happy because I see a smile on someone’s face.

And I will feel better. In fact I feel better now because I feel lighter. No expectation of result.

“Do not fear making mistakes”. I realized that maybe all this while I’ve been making the mistake of fearing to make mistakes. What is there to be afraid of? People are there to guide you, so why should you be so timid? Now the question is what kind of mistake you’re making. But then, if I decide to live a life without regrets, what is the value of mistake?

These 2 important lessons pop up this morning. A dream of sweetness and laughter. Today shall be a sunny day after the storm! A day of excitement for everyone!!! And I DO cherish this precious gem of mine. Somewhere, somehow I hope this precious gem will shine to its very best… …

Labels: People

posted by starry_twilight @ 10:35 AM  
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take my HAND; and GUIDE me through *hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

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BEAUTIFUL LIFE

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Home Sweet Music

Music. What a heaven! After a long tiring day, in this long silent night this dear friend keeps me company. Yes! My voice…singing now! Yay ~ voice and emotions. Just that why must it always be at late night? You know you can’t do certain things at night ^^…

Welcome to this brand new home! Let’s turn on some music to liven up the place :)

后来我总算学会了如何去爱
可惜你早已远去消失在人海
后来终于在眼泪中明白
有些人一旦错过就不再

桅子花 白花瓣落在我蓝色百褶裙上
「爱你」你轻声说
我低下头闻见一阵芬芳
那个永恒的夜晚
十七岁仲夏你吻我的那个夜晚
让我往后的时光每
当有感叹总想起当天的星光

那时候的爱情为什么就能那样简单
而又是为什么人年少时
一定要让深爱的人受伤
在这相似的深夜里你是否一样也在静静追悔感伤
如果当时我们能不那么倔强
现在也不那么遗憾

你都如何回忆我
带着笑或是很沉默
这些年来有没有人能让你不寂寞

永远不会再重来
有一个男孩爱着那个女孩

I don’t know why. But I just like this song. The style, lyrics, the rhythm, the drums, guitar, piano (I’m not sure if I am correct :p), and telling a touching story. And she has sung out the kind of ‘lost love’ feeling.

想用一杯latte把你灌醉
好让你能多爱我一点
暗恋的滋味你不懂这种感觉
早有人陪的你永远不会

看见你和他在我面前
证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会

为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪

明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲

曾经我以为我自己会后悔
不想爱得太多痴心绝对
为你落第一滴泪
为你作任何改变也唤不回你对我的坚决
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪

直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲

This is a good song to drown your sorrow. Some of you may find that it fits exactly how you’re feeling. See, your dear friend understands you! Haha. This music keeps going on and on last time, now I am refreshing it. I kinda like his voice. Quite unique. Getting a bit drowsy now…

Music. Sweet and wonderful! Have you heard of music as a therapy? Fumio Miyashita had invented music therapy, using sounds of nature blending into music to create a form of art on its own. A person with a gifted talent in music and the great work of arts he produced had won him the "Master of Music Therapy" :)

A new found friend whom I want to know better, whom I appreciate and respect. The friend who helps me to sing and express all my feelings. Not many people understand you. Some even make use of you. Some take you for granted.

Look what is happening now. Are there real music? What is music to you then?

A friend everyone needs. A friend I admire.

Labels: Music

posted by starry_twilight @ 1:50 AM  
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take my HAND; and GUIDE me through *hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

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