BEAUTIFUL LIFE
Friday, March 26, 2010
Got to Find a Way Out
I don’t know why I’m feeling this way…but I got so much to say…
Feeling so tired and my throat hurts. Initially it hurts till I can’t even utter any sound. Just swallowing alone can kills! Even now it still hurts, and **cough cough..
With the almost fainting experience with the whole body aches and felt weird. The past two weeks been seeking medicine and praying for healing.
Maybe I’m just tired and needs to sleep. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.
And maybe I’m a little sad and disappointed. Everyone is so busy and the love grows cold. I feel so cold and dry…
And recently things came crashing over…have thou forsaken me? Had a great fun with the cg game, but later I was reminded of the super burden I’ve got to face coming days…Did a six hour lesson back to back which I felt so XXXXXX after. I hate to squeeze so many lessons together (especially not when I’m super exhausted after one whole week of ‘torture’, I want to enjoy and not hate it).
And I’m a bit frustrated by his change of attitude. Give me a break! Bleah~
Felt super sick at the Leaders’ Meeting and there’s also OPM!
Tuition is closed, which means……….
Yes I am worried, fearful, scared, depressed.. I don’t know how to pay for the next school fees due in less than two weeks time! And many more sacrifices… And the so many expenses coming along… And I’m still in debt!!!
Felt her unfriendly and unkind tone. Like it’s crazy to go Bible School, not understanding that my Saturday is fully packed and insisting certain things. Trying to squeeze me out with your mockery words. What’s wrong with commitments? I’m really torn between the limitations… To serve or to survive? Why must it be overlapping and in the end I got to make a choice? And ‘A’ choice.
Which means now I’m totally loss of what I should do. I can only pray and hope for a miracle. BUT I still don’t know why I’m feeling the way I am now. I find it hard to smile or laugh…but so easy to cry. .
Saw this really sweet nice Bible at Precious Moments and I want it so much!!! It’s NKJV too and the words are really beautiful, easy to study! There’s also cute pictures and quotes and it’s light too! My initial response was that if I have it, I would be super motivated to read and finish it! They are really catchy and I could imagine myself bringing it to school and holding it everywhere I go!!! The sales assistant kept staring at me and was already on 'stand by' mode.. Unfortunately I did NOT get it though it’s already discounted.. =((
And why do bad things happen together? I lost my phone pouch suddenly. And it’s really suddenly because it really just disappeared while I was on the bus. And my bag broke! And my ear piece spoilt! And I got no more radio (sis took it away)…that means I got to ‘fast’ from praise and worship!!! And no music kills the spirit. Which I absolutely hate it! Why do I lose so many things this year? And it’s only beginning of the year!!!
Yeah… HELP! **cough cough..Labels: Books, Current Affair, Health
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through *hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
